Mikel Arteta and Another Arsenal Autopsy: 2019 – 2020

Where the hell do I begin here? I mean, really follks…where? After the board booted out Unai Emery, it was time for a massive change in direction because, quite frankly, we were fed up with everything. The toxic atmosphere, the mixed messages and, more importantly, the insipid and cowardly brand of football that came to define everything that was wrong with Emeryball. After a few games with Freddie Ljunberg at the helm, KSE decided to take a gamble on a person that, I believed, would be a more proper replacement for Uncle Arsene, and that person was former Arsenal captain Mikel Arteta. After 3 years with Pep Guardiola’s coaching staff at Man Citeh, Mikel was ready for the next step in his career and came in to take the managerial reins at Arsenal in December of 2019.

What followed was a refocus on the fans, the rise of the ‘non-negotiables’ and a huge reversal of fortunes for players like Granit Xhaka and Shkodran Mustafi. Right from the get-go, Mikel’s aim was to re-energize everyone who was onboard the Arsenal train, from the cooks to the backroom staff, and from the academy players to the first team starters. It was about winning your one-on-ones and overall positional flexibility, and less about imploding from the back because Unai hand-gestured it to be so. Right from that first interview with Mikel, you knew that he wanted a sea change, and all in all, it looks as though the Arsenal ship is heading in the right direction.

But that’s not without its issues however. I’m still wary about KSE Holdings and how much backing they’ll provide for Arteta’s vision for the squad, but this year’s Cup triumph should give him more leverage on that front. Furthermore, I’m also wondering whether or not Raul & Vinai will be heavy-handed with their input on player recruitment because frankly, Mikel’s the one in the trenches and he should be the one to have final say. It’s obviously a different era from Wenger’s tenure, and with Arteta’s autonomy at the minimum, I do worry that KSE and Co. will find some stupid way to muck it all up again come next season.

In addition to those aforementioned concerns, the Arsenal board have a way of pairing great news with terrible decisions. With the lot of us still riding high from winning the FA Cup, the board has just announced that they’ll make 55 staff redundant because of the financial impact from the coronavirus pandemic. That’s TERRIBLE, and a total kibosh to the feel-good atmosphere that we’ve finally earned after a torrid season. I mean just think about it: the club is owned by a fucking billionaire, we’re the only Premier League club to have take a significant pay-cut to our wages (which includes Arteta), and said pay-cut was taken on with the impetus that it would….I dunno, SAVE JOBS??? What the fuck KSE? Those people will LOSE THEIR JOBS IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC!!! WHAT-THE-ACTUAL-FUCK!?

…..deep breaths….deep breaths…

There’s just so much to talk about here, and like many other Gooners on the interwebs, we sometimes dive deep into the negatives. On the subject of the team, it’s pretty clear that we’ll probably have to let go of a few players if we’re ever going to scrap the funds to keep Aubameyang (is that where the 55 come in you heartless fucks?). I can definitely see Kolasinac, Chambers, Torreira, Elneny, Mavropanos and possibly Sokratis go, but whether or not that happens is up to the powers that be. Remember that these are the same powers-that-be that have given error-prone David Luiz a new contract (yeesh). The sure-fire bet for me to leave however is Matteo Guendouzi, because whatever goodwill he built-up during Emery’s reign has all but vanished under Arteta, and it just goes to show you that in order to rise up in football, you sometimes need to grow-the-fuck-up.

Ozil is a huge question mark for me, and if the rumors regarding his hesitancy to take the pay-cut are true, then it doesn’t bode well for him. Arteta has been vocal about his praise for our number 10, but given the silent drama swirling around his omission from recent games, I’m loathe to admit that much of his misfortune may all be down to him. I love Mesut Ozil, but if Mikel of all people is willing to drop him, then something is definitely not right in this house.

If there are positives to be had about this season, it’s related to our Young Guns. Players like Saka and Tierney have lit-up the fanbase like mad, and their wild contributions this season will stay fresh in all our minds. Martinelli’s Premier League goal against Chelsea will live long in my memory and I’m glad we secured both him and Saka for long-term deals. Furthermore, Willock (our most capped player this season), Nelson and Nketiah all got great minutes and FA Cup Winners Medals to boot. The question now is whether they’ll need more loan moves for development or not. And who can forget Ainsley Maitland-Niles? Just weeks prior to his inclusion in the FA Cup semis, we all thought he was going to go, and then he proved us all wrong and wrecked everyone at left wingback. To be honest, I hope he stays and continues to prove his mettle to the manager. With 100 caps and an FA Cup Winners Medal, he can definitely go places with us here at Arsenal.

Mustafi and Xhaka have done wonders for themselves in the latter half of this season despite the former’s harrowing injury. The same goes with Dani Ceballos, though I’m not sure if he’s got the physicality that we need in the middle of the park. Pepe looks like he’s getting used to life in the U.K. though I hope he doesn’t lose steam too quickly given his price tag and all. Lacazette is a little rusty for me, and though some are keen to say that he’ll be sold eventually, I’d much rather keep him as a foil for our MVP, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. He has been our shining star despite our deficiencies and to come away with a finish like THAT to win the FA Cup just goes to show how vital he is to this team. Whatever you do Arteta, please do your utmost to keep Auba!

And who can forget Emi Martinez and the massive shift he pulled after Leno was banjaxed against Brighton? He marched right in and bossed it so well for us that I think he should really REALLY be in contention for the No.1 spot. The saves, the clean sheets and the leadership he demonstrated show me that he’s ready for anything, and given his tearful interview after the Final, you’ll know that he’ll give it his all. He’s been in and out of Arsenal with many a loan spell for 10 years, so maybe it’s high time we give him a chance.

And despite all of this feel-good fresh air finally wafting around the Emirates, the issues with Stan Kroenke still stand. Let me be clear and say this: my jubilation from the FA Cup is now kiboshed. Kaput. Dead. Team-wise we have so much to sort out with regards to signings, injuries, tactics, possession, midfield creativity and physicality, but we have to worry about all of that while Arsenal pulls a Scrooge McDuck in the middle of a pandemic. Words escape me right now, so I’d rather have Arseblog round it all out with this:

I can’t tell anyone else what to think, but if your position is to defend a billionaire’s decision to lay off staff at this time, right now, with everything that’s going on, and to piss on the celebrations we were all enjoying after the FA Cup win, then all I can do is ask you to please have a think about it. If you’re still on the side of that kind of man, there’s not much I can do about it.

Arsenal Football Club is a business to them, but it’s something more than that to me, and to all of you, I’m sure. It’s a precious institution, something which has been part of our lives for years and which represents something more to us that a small piece of a rich man’s sporting franchise collection. We need to think about how we protect that and its reputation which, however you want to dress it up, has taken a hammering since that statement was released. All the business justifications aside, the optics of this are absolutely dreadful, it makes me sad and upset to have to sit here and write about it this morning because what Stan has done makes Arsenal look bad. He might not care, but I do.

Maybe I’m a fool. Maybe I’m some kind of idealist, or ‘lefty’, but my first reaction is to think about Arsenal, to think about the football club, and to think about the people who might lose their jobs, and not what’s best for Stan and Josh Kroenke. All over the world there are businesses run by ordinary people who are doing everything they can for their staff, making huge sacrifices to ensure that the people they employ are protected, and it’s a crying shame Arsenal are not one of them.

That’s your lot from yours truly everyone. Stay safe, be excellent to each other, COYG and don’t be a stingy fucking billionaire like Enos Stanley Kroenke. God help us all.

Adieu Olivier

Arsenal have had a poor season, and no amount of fluff from me can hide that.  Our away form is atrocious and our midfield is leaky.  And when I say leaky, I mean we turnover WAY too much.  Xhaka really needs to learn how to defend without fouling and Sanchez, despite the awesome things he’s done for Arsenal, turns balls over way too much.  So when he finally went to United instead of Citeh, I was like, “Meh.”  However, the rumors swirling around Giroud leaving felt like a dagger to the heart.  All in all, I understand why he needs to go; he’s got a new baby, it’s a World Cup year and he needs regular playing time.  Unfortunately, like many would highlight, Giroud is simply awesome as a Plan B, and no striker would want to be relegated to that.  It’s with these thoughts in mind that Wenger decided to open the door for Giroud to go.  I absolutely hate the fact that he’s gone to Chel$ki, but I hold nothing against him and, frankly, hope he benches Morata.

It also sucks to see that his final game with us was one where we lost to Swansea…AGAIN.  It’s almost as if the Swans have become another bogey team for us away (like offside Southampton), and it’s an atrocious record that needs to be put to bed.

However, I need to give props to Olivier.  He never gave up when new strikers came in and always, ALWAYS gave 100% to the club.  He’s made so many howlers, but created so many glorious, beautiful footballing moments for us that really, I can never ever be mad at him.  I’m sure many would argue that he didn’t fit the system at Arsenal, but he contributed to our sloppy brand of sexy football in his own way.  The flicks, the touches, the back-passes, his class and the headers were all just glints of polished dynamite that have adorned the Emirates’ grassy canvas and I’m sad to see it all go.  Sure, we finally have Aubameyang, but will that help us break down the obstinate, defense-first playing style of the Prem?  Will we finally see some more of what we saw yesterday against Everton?  Or will we just see an increasing number of frustrated Arsenal faces in the opposition box once ANOTHER call goes against us?

Whatever it is, I’m moving on from this hectic transfer window with a sigh of relief and exasperation.  We said goodbye to Theo, to Debuchy, to Sanchez and to Coquelin, all folks who’ve done their part to steer the Arsenal ship as best as they could.  The fact that Giroud is part of that list makes it even more sad.  Our beautiful Arsenal story with Olivier Giroud ended on January 31st, 2018, but I sure hope we get to hear more from him, especially once he dons the Blue Jersey of France this summer.  Until then, I wish him the very best because to me, no matter where he goes, Giroud will always be a Gunner.  Adieu Olivier, and thanks for all the memories.

A Great End to a Disappointing Arsenal Season (2016 – 2017)

It’s Memorial Day today and after returning from a quaint little Jazz festival in Alexandria, Virginia, I just thought I need to make a few blurbs about Arsenal.  I originally wanted to write another hate-filled speech about Cheetos Emperor Donaldore J. Trumpfuckery the 15th and his ties to a secret cabal of one-eyed KGB kickboxers, but that’ll be for another day.  Today is for the vets, and it’s also for me to celebrate Arsenal’s victory over Chel$ki F.C. to win the 2017 F.A. Cup.

Our season in the Prem started out well, and things were looking good between November 2016 and January 2017.  However, losing Santi Cazorla was a massive blow, and as you already know, the wheels started to come loose a little later in the campaign.  Losing to Crystal Palace, Liverpool, Tony Pulis F.C., and Watford, along with ties to fucking Bournemouth and some offsides bullshit with Citeh dented both our hopes and our top four chase, making us 5th for the Europa League.  A big blow to us for sure, but I really REALLY want to stay positive and hope that there’s a silver lining in that as well.  If Chel$ki and United fall into the Europa League with little ire from the press, why can’t Arsenal, right?  (I’m being sarcastic of course)

However, I’m still not in the Wenger Out camp.  I’d only do so in order for Uncle Arsene to be spared of all this stuff.  That’s not to say that Arsenal aren’t without problems.  I’m as sick of it as anyone else when it comes to our pattern of implosion, but to visibly vent our frustrations on Wenger does him or us no justice.  Protest the way we play, or get in the board’s face about investment or even a change in tactics, but for reals folks, please don’t dis Uncle Arsene.  He doesn’t deserve it.

So give the old man credit for that back three.  Give him credit for his selections.  Give him AND the players some cred for smacking Mourinho in the face after beating ManU in the Prem and give him his due for giving us one helluva F.A. Cup final.

If you watched the final, then you know how exciting it was.  I was screaming at Arsenal all day to make sure they didn’t fuck anything up and sure enough, they didn’t.  The first 5 minutes was all Arsenal with some amazing possession and, handball or not, a neat goal from Alexis Sanchez.  I’m glad we got in Chel$ki’s faces and I’m glad we got some fortune for once.  Ramsey offside?  Yeah right.

However, with all the chances we had throughout the first half, the game should’ve been out-of-sight with 4-0.  We dominated the midfield battle and for all the excuses Chel$ki fans can make about not being at the races, save it.  You guys put out THE title-winning eleven and for an occasion like the F.A. Cup final, you guys looked ordinary.  Oh, and that Ozil tackle on Hazard?  Priceless.

The second half saw the Blues amped up with a few more fouls, penetration and pace, which only made David Ospina look cooler and cooler with some fine saves.  Per, Rob and Nacho held Neaderthal Costa back pretty well for the most part.  Well, except for his goal of course.  But that was after the Victor Moses dive.  Which he got a red card for.  Sweet.  Again, you’d think Arsenal would be safe after that but then we got Costa’d.  I kicked a box at home as my head boiled with fury.  For an Arsenal fan like me, this usually means that we would not only implode, but  Per would break all three of his legs somehow, Ox would get a Red card for being Gibbs (again) and Phil McNulty would begin masturbating at the thought of writing another thinly-veiled ‘Arsenal-are-weak-get-Wenger-sacked’ fluff piece.

However, in only a few short minutes, Phil would have to go limp and clean his chin in disgust because when Olly Giroud came on, he made made a beautiful cross to an unmarked Ramsey, where he cannoned a header past Courtois (the best GK in teh Prem mind you).  The roar of the Gooner faithful thundered the air, the blue poop of London groaned and the Red Sea parted in Divine Rapture.  I wasn’t the only one jumping for Joy.  I clutched my Wife, I held on to the sky and was ready for Arsenal to defend for their life.  What a feeling, and what a goal!

Ospina and the rest of the defense had to then pull in one helluva shift to make sure the game didn’t turn into 2-2, with a brilliant save to keep us all in.  Mesut should’ve scored when Arsenal broke free but had to settle for the post, Courtois’ leg and a corner and I wished to God Giroud got his 100 goals for the club, but when that final whistle came, I didn’t care.  We saw through the challenge.  We beat the deserved Champions of England.  We won the F.A. Cup.  And we did it with our BFG Captain making his FIRST START OF THE SEASON!

I’m not so sure if this ‘saved’ our season because there’s just sooooo much that we still need to work on.  Injuries, motivation, mentality and, overall, contracts.  It sounds like the ‘same old Arsenal’ tag that most shit pundits like to beat us with, but it all happened at the latter half of the season, not the tail-end of November like usual.  We’re starting to slowly find a way to play without Santi, but we need to really rethink our defensive transitions because teams are finding out how to exploit us in our own half.  It’s my hope that the maturation of Xhaka in the Prem will help in that regard, but like many new signings at Arsenal, they usually don’t mature until they take a pounding.  Keeping Sanchez and Ozil are should be the main target of the club this summer, and if we do, we need to drill Sanchez to avoid turnovers at all costs.  I also personally think Giroud and the Ox should still stay at the club, with the former being a beast from the bench and the latter shining as a wing back.  Finally,it’s my hope that with a win like this, we can take a serious look at our problems, use Spurs’ current form as a kind of jealous motivation, and our sinking into the Europa doldrums as a silver lining for experience as we try to recoup ourselves to do something big next season.

Until then guys, let’s savor this win and tell the rest of the naysayers to piss off.

SCORPION KIIIIIICK!!!!!

Did you see that kick?  That build up?  That GOAL????  It won the internet.  It made Assad shit in his pants.  It resurrected Ronald Reagan only to kill him again.  It silenced everyone!  Goal of the season?  How about goal of the decade?  Arsene now says it’s in his top five, and that bar is fucking high.  This is Arsenal, where football isn’t just a capitalist war of attrition.  It’s art.  It transcends life.  It produces memorable moments.  It produces goals like this.

Arsenal vs. Chelsea: EPL (9/24/2016)

The last time I saw Arsenal whoop Chelsea was in 2011 during the RVP days.  The last few times, it’s been Diego Costa getting away with being a complete jerk without any penalty.  The last few times, it’s been too many goals against us and not enough against them.  The last few times, it was Mourinho being a dick wad.  Specialist in failure anyone?

Win Ugly: Arsenal vs. Newcastle United (1/2/2016)

Watching yesterday’s game reminded me of our mauling in Southampton on Boxing Day, yet Arsenal (thanks in no small part to Petr Cech) stood as the victor in what would’ve been a game that we’d normally lose or draw.  Koscielny’s goal was the difference in a scrappy affair where the Magpies had the better chances to score.  Mitrovic was unlucky to some degree, but Cech did the business to snuff out the danger as Newcastle squeezed past our defenders to fire.  Oh, and don’t get me started on the ref.  The man was atrocious.

Oh, and Ramsey….please, if you’re clear on goal and if your lane blocked, GIVE IT TO CAMPBELL!!!!

Arsenal have always been beaten by the cudgel of “mental fragility” by many a pundit over the years, but it’s nice to see that we can dig out an ugly win with a set piece and get 9 out of a possible 12 points during a very hectic timeframe.  With us still retaining our place at the top of the table, it will become more of an imperative to grind out wins as the next set of fixtures approach (along with an FA Cup tie).  Yes, we’ve got some injuries, but our depth is there (barely).  The worry I have is that our defense and midfield was left exposed quite often against Newcastle so personally, I really think we need to tighten up with some structure / shape.  We’re missing Coquelin’s physical presence in midfield since both Southampton and Newcastle have proven that they could bully us in midfield with little consequence.  Here’s to hoping that we can dig deep and make it happen as we wait for the rest of our troops to return.

 

Arsenal and Chances

I was unable to see the entire clash between the Gunners and City this Monday, but that’s why we have highlights.  BBC’s Live Updates kept me nervy, but after 3 fabulous goals (both Theo’s and Yaya’s in particular), the game ended 2-1 to the Gunners.  This closes the gap to Leicester and puts a nice 4 point cushion between us and the Blue Moon.  Frankly, I’m both thrilled and relieved.

I haven’t spoken much about the Gunners recently, but there’s such a feel good vibe about being a Gooner this year.  From back-to-back FA Cups to the acquisition of Petr Cech (along with the shit-sacking of Jose Mourinho), things continue to look up for us, and it’s showing on the faces of our players.  Wenger spoke of a togetherness in the team despite the injuries and you really feel that these lads are playing for each other.  Ozil is shining as the star that we all thought he is, Coquelin, despite injuries, is a beast, Joel Campbell is making a name for himself and Ollie G is just tucking the goals away.  Cech continues to secure our goalmouth while the four in front of him deserve so much credit as well.  How can we get this far without such a solid back line like this?

It’s too early to tell where we’ll be come the end of the season, but so far, things are looking great.  COYG!!

Phil McNulty & Celebrations

I’m sure you all know that this has been a very up and down season for Arsenal, especially since we’ve been number 1 in the Premier League for quite some length, only for it all to topple as we now remain at 5th.  Now, I won’t add to what others have mentioned already, but let me just say that it hurts as a fan.

Yesterday, Arsenal gave us a dogged, grind-it-out, ugly performance to reach the FA Cup finals after the shot-stopping Lukasz Fabianski provided the foothold we needed to beat a Wigan squad who, despite playing for the Championship, remain undefeated in their last 12 games in this tournament.  It was for that reason that we celebrated.  It was for that reason that fans all across Arsenal were swept in jubilation…we have emerged with a chance to reclaim the FA Cup.

Then some hack at the BBC wrote this a day later.

Weekend Roundup (11/23/2013 to 11/24/2013)

Quiet weekends are usually good weekends and in this case, it was damn good!  Saturday morning started out well with a good win from Arsenal at home against in-form Southampton and my, was it a cracker!  The Saints played very well in the first half, but some luck from Artur Boruc’s horrible work in front of goal saw Arsenal’s Giroud steal the ball from him to score on the spot (muhaha!).  Despite what the BBC’s written, luck wasn’t the only thing that helped us will that day.  With solid defending, great build-up play and a penalty for us due to Per getting his jersey yanked, we convincingly closed out the kind of game that we would usually falter with years ago.  How’s that for a good start to the weekend?

A Blurb about the New Boys at Arsenal

I don’t have many fancy things to say right now, but to have Cazorla unvelied at A.F.C. on MY BIRTHDAY yesterday is quite something. With Giroud & Podolski in the mix, I am super happy with what we are seeing right now.  Hell, from the photos you’ll find at Arsenal.com, I’d say Arteta’s MORE happy than I am about Santi. With Cesc and others praising his abilities, it’s no doubt that Cazorla will set the EPL ablaze.

Couple all of that with Giroud’s tenacity in the box and Lukas’ physical presence going forward, and you might just have yourselves a great group of Gunners in this season’s lineup.  Yes yes, it’s a bit early to say that things will improve instantaneously for us, but I’m simply describing my excitement about the whole thing, along with the rest of the Arsenal fanbase.  I’m sure we could do for a few more signings, but we’re not Chelski or the Mancs for chrissake, so let’s all just cool down a bit about wanting ANOTHER CB, LB, RB or QB, okay?

Otherwise, it’s a damn good time to be a Gooner.  Cheers guys!!