A Few Words on Arsene Wenger


So the search begins to find the next man to lead the Arsenal.  As many now know, Arsene Wenger has sadly announced that he will bid the club farewell this summer.  Players and fans alike have taken the news with either surprise, sadness or elation.  I’m obviously upset that he’s opted to leave, but I don’t begrudge him.  Results for the team have been poor throughout the season due to bad defense (Mustafi, Bellerin and an aging Cech), the professional lapses of some of our midfielders (Xhaka, Wilshere, Ramsey at times) and some dubious, dubious referees.  I will admit that Wenger hasn’t had his best year in terms of tactics, but I don’t agree with the Wenger Out Brigade or the asshole pundits who call for his head day in, day out.   Criticism, anger at his tactics and honest reflection are one thing, but the circle-jerk of vitriol and the normalization of Anti-Wenger bias both in and out of the pitch have been awful things to witness.  This may be the only reprieve that I hope Wenger will get once he leaves the Emirates.

Many sports journos have speculated a great deal as to the reasons why Arsene has left before the end of his contract, but I’m of the opinion to not giving a damn until a book comes out.  I’m mentioning this because for all the praise that’s coming in from Phil McNulty, the BBC or ESPNFC, these are the same asshats who would bay for his blood after every bad result.  It pissed me off to see this last Friday, and I wonder how much more Wenger will be assessed in the near future, especially in relation to Arsenal if results sour in his absence.

Wenger is a manager that I’ve grown to respect beyond the confines of football.  His thoughts on life are reminiscent of an old teacher guiding his pupils towards adulthood and I will truly miss the kind of thoughts he would share in interviews like this.  I hope that wherever he goes, or whatever he does, he’ll be loved by all Gooners as time passes.  Here’s to better results as the season comes to a close, and let’s all give the Boss a great send off when it finally comes time for a goodbye.

Adieu Olivier


Arsenal have had a poor season, and no amount of fluff from me can hide that.  Our away form is atrocious and our midfield is leaky.  And when I say leaky, I mean we turnover WAY too much.  Xhaka really needs to learn how to defend without fouling and Sanchez, despite the awesome things he’s done for Arsenal, turns balls over way too much.  So when he finally went to United instead of Citeh, I was like, “Meh.”  However, the rumors swirling around Giroud leaving felt like a dagger to the heart.  All in all, I understand why he needs to go; he’s got a new baby, it’s a World Cup year and he needs regular playing time.  Unfortunately, like many would highlight, Giroud is simply awesome as a Plan B, and no striker would want to be relegated to that.  It’s with these thoughts in mind that Wenger decided to open the door for Giroud to go.  I absolutely hate the fact that he’s gone to Chel$ki, but I hold nothing against him and, frankly, hope he benches Morata.

It also sucks to see that his final game with us was one where we lost to Swansea…AGAIN.  It’s almost as if the Swans have become another bogey team for us away (like offside Southampton), and it’s an atrocious record that needs to be put to bed.


However, I need to give props to Olivier.  He never gave up when new strikers came in and always, ALWAYS gave 100% to the club.  He’s made so many howlers, but created so many glorious, beautiful footballing moments for us that really, I can never ever be mad at him.  I’m sure many would argue that he didn’t fit the system at Arsenal, but he contributed to our sloppy brand of sexy football in his own way.  The flicks, the touches, the back-passes, his class and the headers were all just glints of polished dynamite that have adorned the Emirates’ grassy canvas and I’m sad to see it all go.  Sure, we finally have Aubameyang, but will that help us break down the obstinate, defense-first playing style of the Prem?  Will we finally see some more of what we saw yesterday against Everton?  Or will we just see an increasing number of frustrated Arsenal faces in the opposition box once ANOTHER call goes against us?

Whatever it is, I’m moving on from this hectic transfer window with a sigh of relief and exasperation.  We said goodbye to Theo, to Debuchy, to Sanchez and to Coquelin, all folks who’ve done their part to steer the Arsenal ship as best as they could.  The fact that Giroud is part of that list makes it even more sad.  Our beautiful Arsenal story with Olivier Giroud ended on January 31st, 2018, but I sure hope we get to hear more from him, especially once he dons the Blue Jersey of France this summer.  Until then, I wish him the very best because to me, no matter where he goes, Giroud will always be a Gunner.  Adieu Olivier, and thanks for all the memories.

Eat a Bear Trap Mourinho

Football Everton v Chelsea - Barclays Premier League

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything football related and unfortunately, rather than blurb about Arsenal’s 2 recent FA Cup victories (we broke the goddamned drought you fucks), our heroic dismantling of Manchester United, RVP’s wonder own-goal or Ozil’s 27th birthday, I want to chat about the cunt that is the darling of the English football press, but the scourge of all that is holy in Football: Jose Mourinho.

For me to see Chelsea so low at the table (16th place as I write this) is a joy I rarely indulge in, especially when it comes after both their purchase of last season’s Premier League title and our purchase of their prized goalkeeper Petr Cech.  Yes, Cesc is there in Stamford Bridge still, but with the way he’s been playing, I certainly hope that he won’t be for long. The Special One seems to have not only lost the plot in the dressing room (and in the medical room I might add with Dr. Carneiro), but he continues to lose it in the press room with incoherent drivel at every turn, with some of it thrown indirectly at our manager. Well fuck you Jose, and go eat a fucking bear trap.

I relish the day where Mourinho’s bullshit anti-football bites him back in the ass and gets Chelski relegated, but that will be too good to be true.  However, weekly implosions will suffice.  Until then, cheers to you Jose, and enjoy that platter of bear-chomping goodness as it smiles back at you….you fuck.  COYG!!!

RAMBO REVOLUTION: Arsenal vs. Stoke City (9-22-2013)

Ramsey arsenal stoke win 2013I haven’t written about Arsenal in quite a while, but it’s great to see them in fine form and striding away with well deserved wins.  With yet another silly season behind us, we’ve emerged with 2 free signings in the form of Yaya Sanogo and former Gunner Matthieu Flamini, a great deal of off-loading and Real Madrid’s assist-king Mesut Ozil in our ranks.  The signing of the summer in my honest opinion, his price tag is well worth whatever Bale’s was, and the fact that we flexed the financial muscle to get him shows that we can spend the money when we feel it necessary.  Ozil’s impact to Arsenal’s style of play has been tremendous, along with one other Young Gunner, the stalwart Welshman Aaron Ramsey.

He’s divided many opinions among the Arsenal faithful, but whatever ill you’ve thought of him in recent years now needs to be eaten with 50 spoonfuls of humble pie.  Last season, his shifts as a right back and all-purpose midfielder have shown us that he’s ready to give whatever the team wants, but his recent displays as a box-to-box powerhouse illustrate that not only has his confidence returned, so to has his tenacity.  With commanding performances where he’s dribbled through players, made smarter passes and has FUCKING scored 7 goals in 8 games, you start to realize why Wenger has truly kept the faith with Aaron.  Not many managers can do that, and, unfortunately, not many fans can either.

ramsey vs sunderland arsenal 2013 goalRamsey always had it in him to make things possible by playing a direct game, but his recent exploits in Marseille, Sunderland and Stoke have shown us that his footballing brain has gotten bigger, with his last goal against Sunderland being my favorite of his so far.  In addition, let’s not take anything away from the rest of the squad.  Giroud is scoring like a real striker should be, while the midfield is really putting their work in like heroes.  Although the defense has always been a point of contention at the Emirates, we’ve seen everyone from Gibbs to Per make great saves (along with the SZCZ).  Jenkinson himself is a fantastic crosser and Sagna continues to retain the title of “Mr. Reliable” all the while scoring today with a fabulous header today.  The team is riding high at the moment, and Ramsey’s influence has helped in paving the path for everyone to play on with spirit.

Maybe it’s too early to say glowing things about Arsenal now, but let’s bask ourselves in this for a little bit, shall we?  We’ve got injuries but those folks will come around.  We’ve flexed our money muscle and people are taking notice.  We played physical football against the Orcs of Stoke and we beat them with Setpieces….can you believe that?  And what’s more?  We’ve got Aaron Ramsey in fine form, and if he keeps this up, then we’ll truly have a Rambo Revolution on our hands.


マカンコウサッポウ!!!!! Bul-Go-Gi Tastes Better in Hell!

Making-Makankosappo-Piccolo-girlsIn honor of Chef Roy Choi’s sweet post on Angry Asian Man on what makes him angry, I’ve decided to go all out and do one of my own. Please be advised that this will probably offend you, and if it does, then go eat a bear trap.

Fuck all of you Chelsea fans. You’re all a saggy sack of John Terry apologists, lion fucking blue cunts and shit eating, glory hunting, classless trolls. And a nice big ‘fuck you’ to all you Thai fans of Chelsea. You think you’re rich or something? Half of your fucking football teams are named ‘United’ anyways, so fuck the lot of ya!

Fuck all of you so called Arsenal fans who’d rather waste time moping with black scarves and pout on the Piers Morgan Brigade.  Think of it this way you fucks, Arsenal’s got 99 problems, but apeshit debt ain’t one of them.  We have just as much bullshit as any other club (i.e. Can’t sign nobody, can’t defend, money clubs buy our players and everyone else’s etc, etc,) yet we still survive every year.  Sheesh!!

johnterrythree_2225316bI’m sick of dealing with folks who can’t eat spicy food and love to tell people that they can’t, then WHINE about it when they see it at lunch or at a goddamned party You think I give a shit about how your lack of nad hair (or lack of nads thereof) keeps you from enjoying the best shit EVER!?

I wish all of you folks on Facebook would just quit telling me where the hell you are exactly. If I changed my job prospects to that of a hitman, FB would double as my middle man and you’d find your ass ridden with bullets at your next outing for sushi, wine, shopping or bar-hopping.

Fuck all of you stupid morons for calling us Asians dog-eaters, slant-eyes, gooks and other shit that your folks mumbled to you during our youth, especially when you’re a minority yourself. How the fuck would you like it if I mumbled something to you during grade school and tried to back that bullshit up with that tired old, “But my parents said they do that all the time.” Shut the fuck up and stop hiding behind that bullshit and learn some good old-fashioned, goddamned humility. You go to a church for a reason right? You have parents for a reason other than passing on their prejudices to you, right? If you’re one of these folks and you’re reading this, go look in the mirror and remember these words, “You’re not important, and you’re not better than anyone else, so go fuck yourself!”

001-Arguing-with-christians-debate-funny-futilitySpeaking of churches, screw you crazy Korean Christians for trying to convert me. I know you wanna help me, but I’ll be fine. I don’t want your Bible Studies and I don’t wanna deal with your cliques full of quiet ass overachievers who serve God but have a wardrobe worth more than Somalia.  And frankly, I don’t want your God if you’re gonna tell me that my Buddhist ass is gonna burn in your Golden Hell, alright!?   Besides, the bul-go-gi tastes better down there anyways.

Oh no no no, you white TV folk ain’t getting away from this shit either. Fuck you for thinking that it’s actually a GOOD thing to be a complete idiot and an utter disgrace to our nation on national TV. From this “Real Housewives” bullshit to “Jersey Shore,” white folk on TV are stupider than ever and give the rest of the world the impression that we’re vapid, oversexed morons who want quick fixes in our shitty lives while being bat-shit insane. Fuck all of that shit!!!

Oh, and on a work related note, fuck all of these staplers that can’t staple a novel together. Who needs this pussy, “Imma gonna put three purty pieces of paper together” shit. I want a goddamned crocodile stapler dammit, not something that’s gonna fall apart or jam when I’m on the go. Fuck that!

twodivorcesAnd stop saying that every goddamned thing you ate is “SOOOOOO GOOOOOOD!!” Stop it goddammit, just stop it! You keep your enlightened views about overpriced rabbit food to yourself or at Yelp. The last thing I need to hear is that your sorry ass has taste, but if you do, I’ll laugh my ass off.

Enough with all the YouTube video game reviewers who moan and moan and moan and get their hits by going ballistic on things that need NO such reaction (save for the shittiness of the Xbox One). No need to rage at Capcom for getting shit wrong about Mega Man (because Inafune is GONE, so duh!!). Calm down about Call of Duty (because it’s tired and overdone). Settle down about the latest rumors, because sometimes, they’re just there for hits. Be like Johnny Millenium & Rob Man or Spida1a. Remember guys, you have lives, okay?. We love video games, and we talk about them on YouTube because we wanna share our joys about them.  Please stop being upset about this and that all the time. Gaming is just a part of life, so get us to enjoy gaming and in turn, make us enjoy life too!

xbox_one_btOh, and before I forget, fuck you Xbox Fanboys. Fuck all of your “this console war is gonna end” bullshit before your ass was handed to you with your head stuck in when you found out that your GLORIOUS new console was made to fuck you over double time. Fuck you for being so arrogant, and fuck you for your flip-flopping, and quite frankly, fuck you Xbox One!

By the way, fuck all of you CONSERVATIVE anime fans for trying to flood fandom and forum alike with your pseudo libertarian / republican / bible-toting bullshit. I don’t need to know why your parents run their stupid ideals down your throat because they feel threatened by colored folk who ACTUALLY do something while your dumb weeaboo ass takes it. I don’t need to hear why you go to conventions and spend all your energy for three measly days of your life while you waste the rest of those days feeling like a big shot who wants lower taxes for yourself and does NOTHING to prove how what you believe should work for the rest of us. And lastly, I don’t need to see all the STUPID, RACIST, and IMMATURE shit that you post any and everywhere about why you love your ANIMU without giving any props to the people who make it or where it comes from. Don’t reinterpret it for your own political ends, and don’t try to paint this outburst as “You’re too PC man, you should chill.” Why don’t the rest of you stupid, conservative Otaku shut the hell up and get with the program: Keep your politics and your racism out of the anime!

predictable-korean-girl-meme-generator-mom-makes-the-best-korean-food-on-earth-can-barely-make-cereal-herself-afb112And finally, fuck all of you Asian-americans (that’s right, I’m talking to you, my very own people) for cowering when you see something that’s…oh no, wait for it, here goes….TOO ASIAN!!!!!  Fucking shit man, where-do-I-begin!?  You have so many folks who do all the hard work to blog and get the word out about APA rights, APA issues, APA events for a good cause and APA films but nothing sets it back more than when an APA individual sees something out of the blue that boggles them, makes them double back in fear of teh white judgement and then hit the deck and say “I don’t know anything about that, but Asian folk SURE are nuts!!”  I get it that we get tiffed when some acquaintances or co-workers mumble something that happens in Asia to you and asks the dumb question of “Why is that?”, as if to assume that YOU would know something about it, but don’t just shit on your own people and say “Well I dunno what dat iz but datz soooo azn!,” mumble under your breath and leave.  Can we dial #self-hate or #banana?

makankosappo geyser

Furthermore, why is this especially so when it’s actually about something cool and or funny?  What, are you ashamed that there’s a GIF of a kid having a kicking match with a donkey (because he’s got 20 times more balls than you’ll ever have?), or that there’s an up-to-scale Gundam statue in Japan?  Do you have to moan or write on your blog about “Why you don’t understand” when school girls take Hadouken pictures, how PSY got popular over the summer or when folks make YouTube references about Street Fighter 2 when, in actuality, they have more balls than you do about having fun with their pals while the rest of the net just somehow catches on to it?  Come on fellow APAs, don’t cower or shake when you see shit you don’t understand happening out of Asia because you’re too white washed or you’re just TOO FUCKING AMERICAN for your own good.  We hate on folks who slant or fetishize on us for good reason, but don’t flip out on harmless and silly stuff from Asia when it’s meant to be…well, harmless and silly stuff from Asia.  Good ,bad and crazy shit comes out of there on a daily basis and all you need to do is just calm down and take it for what it is, unless it truly deserves your outrage.  However, if you’re just another mundane individual who definitely can’t distinguish between those things, then fuck YOU!

So there it is, stuff that pisses me the hell off.  The list may change every now and then, but for the record, this is it so far.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some bul-go-gi in my golden hell to attend to.