Thanksgiving has finally snuck up behind us and we haven’t a damn clue of what we are doing. Are we cooking anything? Do you know what you’re going say to your Trump-loving relatives? Can Gary Johnson make Pumpkin Pie? Who died and made you King? Now before you answer these questions, here’s 14 tips to help you survive this Holiday without setting yourself on fire. They are all obvious nods to the Onion, but this is my blog and I’m sticking to it!