2016: The Good, The Bad and THE GOD-AWFUL!


If you thought 2015 was god-awful, then boy do you need a slap in the face.  2016 is full of such madness, such despair and such fuckery that I cannot begin to imagine what 2017 will be like (have I said this before???).  With such an unprecedented turn of events happening at the speed of your stupid Facebook feed, it’s no wonder that we’d all like to just throw the year down a trash bin and burn it.  Where shall we begin everyone?  Who or what shall I discuss first?  What in God’s name were the positives?  Do snow monkeys make snow balls and eat them?  We’ll go over it all as we begin with….

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Asshat Footballers Dive. Aren’t Ya SURPRISED!?

DIVERSAfter watching Jackie Chan’s “Who Am I” with the GF last week, she decided she wanted to pull up some YouTube videos about football.  Initially, we observed some hilarious FA highlights about own goals, but we ended up watching other videos on diving, and needless to say, it was a laugh riot.  One cheeky fellow even made a video about Barcelona’s many award winning dives, and although I have no doubt that it was made by a shitty Chelski fan (the video highlights one of their defeats to the Catalan crew in a Champion’s League match where Drogba rages at the end of it), it does highlight the notion that as wonderful or ‘noble’ Barca seem to be, they’re just as bad about simulation as anyone else in the Beautiful game.

As you may or may not know, Luis Suarez is one of many talented footballers who, unfortunately, has a penchant for the dark arts.  Gareth Bale (fucking Welsh monkey), Didier Drogba, Cristiano Ronaldo and a whole slew of others have succumbed to this form of pantomime to award themselves a penalty, free-kick, or even the fandom of many a Manchester United supporter, but Suarez has done what many have not.  And guess what?  I STILL think he’s a cunt.  Know what he’s done?  He’s actually admitted that he’s dived, and apparently, Brenden Rodgers is seething right now.  Sure he’ll wring him out about it, but what about all the others wankers in the Premier League that do it like clockwork?  Don’t give me that shit about Cazorla or Pires since I’m an Arsenal fan, because plenty of fucking players do it too and don’t get a wrap on their goddamned knuckles for it.  Liam Ridgewell, Rooney or Ronaldo can go down with a sniper bullet, and no one in the media or in your grandmother’s nursing home will say shit, because that’s who you fucks want to see win, right?  I wonder if they all learned from that fuckwad Sergio Busquets from Barca?  HE’S THE WORST!!

1272484664010Brendan Rodgers defended Luis against many of his accusers, but the proof is in the pudding, and unfortunately for all of you unwitting Anfielders, you’ll have to eat it all up.  The person you have to feel sorry for is Brenden since he’s made a fool of himself for defending the Uruguayan, but that’s what you call “Sticking up for your players.”  However, the bright side of this is it does win you games, as we saw with how Chelsea beat Arsenal last Sunday 2-1 with some atrocious fouling and diving, making Ramires’ Man of the Match status rightfully deserved.  Sure they have their three enforcers (Mata, Oscar and that asshat Hazard), but after fouling Coquelin and seeing one clever fall in the box, it might not be any wonder why the GF tells me that Giroud should just fall in the box.

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